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Winter time and the living’s easy. Snow has officially capped the peaks here in Utah. I’ve already seen pictures on Facebook of friends hitting rails on boards and skis. Though I will miss the sun’s gentle rays bronzing my upper thighs, I am happy for the season to come.
And guess what else– Winter time is THE BEST time to grow a sweet man-beard. Don’t believe me? Ask these guys:
The man pictured above goes by the name Cooter. He raises Lama’s for a living and yodels in his spare time. His favorite part of winter is wearing his one-piece thermal pajamas, leaving one of the butt-flap buttons undone, and cuddling up with his woman, Gertrude, on their bear-skin rug in front of the fire.
^^This is Nigel. He is a botanist who was captain of his prep-school cricket team. His favorite part of winter is gazing out of his window, watching the last leaf fall from a tree. He writes wicked awesome poems when that happens.
Oh, that’s Dave. He works at Arbys. He loves winter because wearing this outfit in the summer makes him sweat too much.
^^This is Marshall Jebediah P. Harvenshnozzle, but his friends call him Jeb. His favorite superhero is Wolverine. His favorite thing about winter is that outlaws done be much simpler ta find when their footprints show up in the snow.
^^This is Lynn. He loves American Idol and runs a very busy day-care out of his sister’s home. Oh, you thought he was a lumberjack? Don’t judge books by their covers, guys. By the way, his favorite thing about winter is making snow angels and giggling.
This is Broomy McDevilpipe. His favorite thing to do is sweep crumbs off of things and smoke his devil-pipe. He doesn’t like winter. The only thing he likes is his devil-pipe.
This is Bruce. He grew his moustache super-long, but it doesn’t make up for the fact that he can’t grow a beard. So no one cares what he likes about winter. Go home, Bruce.
Other than Bruce, I respect all the guys you’ve seen here today. I’m excited about winter beards, and ladies, I’m excited for your winter leg-hair. May it grow like the dreds of a Rastafarian. Happy Winter’s-eve everybody.
PS: All these images were taken by Matthew Rainwaters at the WBC. Oh, you don’t know what the WBC is? It’s the World Beard Championships, duh. Good work Matt.